So another week passes

This past week has been mostly uneventful. There was only a few things going on and no new thing which I could start due to my leaving on August 3rd. There had been one scheduled event which I would have been in charge of had it not been canceled due to a lack of interest. The other event, the farmers market, was a typical one and therefore one which I was already thoroughly prepared for. Even the one problem with that solved itself. I had been looking for someone to take over for me when I leave since the farmers market carries on till the end of August and I will be a number of hours travel away during that time. Vasa (short for Vasily) volunteered to take over. He is a guy just a little older than I am and passionate about Christ and his church. I think I leave it in good hands when I leave it in his.

I continue to talk with D every week. This week I must admit that my conversations with him are getting a little bit repetitive and therefore I became a little annoyed internally this time. He keeps asking we why people don't just live by what the Bible says, why God doesn't just keep his Christians safe, why things don't just... He believes in predestination so strongly that he doesn't think freewill exists. He therefore also questions God's justice. He wonders why God makes people endure pain and doesn't just take them home. He wonders why God lets corruption into the Church and into America. I try to explain that things are often far more complex than he makes them out to be. That God has a wonderful master plan for everything that will happen and for the good at that. I try to explain how God enters into suffering with us and never lets us go. I try, and I try, and I try. And I wonder if I'm not making this too much about what I'm doing. This was never about what I could do, how cleverly I could craft arguments, how elegantly I could phrase them, or how well I could comfort him. I know and have known that only God can change a heart. Why am I disappointed? I know it was never about me or what I do. So why do I get frustrated? Did I forget? for a moment? for a day?

Lord, may I not have impeded your work in him by actions concerned with self.

I must still try, but when it is about my actions I do not believe I am being faithful to God's vision of Kingdom.

Today I am leaving Lincoln and Granite Springs for a few days and going up to a monastery. I will try to be obedient to God's will there in a quiet way. I am grateful for the days off. I have not had much of a rest since I got out here right after exams. But I must remind myself that while I have these days off, they are not free days.

I am looking forward to seeing you all again. And I'm looking forward to going home for a while. (I haven't seen my parents and brothers since Christmas)

Further up and further in!